Promoting the citizens of the Ozarks and their lifestyle.
Monday December 17th 2018



Service Directory

Service Directory

The following directory is designed for local service companies and individuals to list FREE their company name, location, and where they can be reached.

Ozark Advertiser. Com  –  a FREE Local news blog service for accessing local information   call 417-342-4599 with  your information and see it here tomorrow.  


Morning Humor

What’s black and white and red all over? 

 A dead skunk in February in the Ozarks.  Wonder why it is so smelly right now–dead skunk looking for a mate in the middle of the road.


They say that dollar bills are worn out in 18 months, bu I have never seen one that lasted more than a couple of months.


The local sheriff pulled an  Ozark farmer over and said,” Sir, do you realize that your wife fell out of the truck several miles back?  To which the the farmer replied,” Thank goodness, I thought that I had gone deaf!”


MODOT at Work

For the next 3-5 days expect slow downs on the Central Crossing Bridge just south of Shell Knob proper.  MODOT workers are busy filling the cracks/holes in the bridge deck.  Although this event is not posted on MODOT’s website it is significant for larger vehicles and those that travel on a timetable.


The Mature Adult

Just before the funeral services,
the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
‘How old was your husband?’
’98,’ she replied, ‘Two years older than me’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.
She responded , ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.


Thank you for your support!

The purpose of this Newsblog is to promote the citizens of the Ozark and their lifestyle. We will make a positive difference in building local businesses and the American economy. Our values are to provide support and energy toward a better way of life.  If you have news you would like to add to this web site call417-342-4599.  If the schedule will allow it we will try to cover your event and take pictures.  Call the number above.


The Mature Adult

The Mature Adult by Paula Andersen

Don’t you love that conversation with a loved one-usually an adult child when they call and tell you how hard their life is after you have just put the heating pad on your knees and taken your second dose of pain reliever for the day?

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional however somewhere in between is ideal.

When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you are down there.

Wisdom comes with age, but by then you have run out of energy to do anything about it.

Time is a great healer but a lousy beautician.

You go for an over night visit at your children’s home and every closet is so full that you can’t fit your shoes in under their clothes.

While you laughed at a lot of blond jokes when you were younger and now that you do not have any hair you think they are DUMB.





Everett Williams, L.L.C.Water Specialist

Everett Williams is a Community Water and Wastewater  specialist and he can be reached for consulting about the purity of your local water.  He is Missouri Department Natural Resources approved.  He may be reached at 417-779-4482.  This ad was placed by Everett Williams.


Accident on Highway 39 South of Shell Knob

Accident on Highway 39
By Paula Andersen
Skid marks show the path through the boulders
The parking lot of Viola Baptist Church was the scene of an accident around midnight on Saturday night. State Highway 39 is known for its’ sharp curves and unexpected corners. There is one of those turns five miles south of Shell Knob, Missouri. Several years ago the Viola Baptist Church placed 12 large boulders in front of its front door and driveway. The idea was to protect itself from wayward drivers and Matthew Ricker in his gray Lexus discovered the merit of those boulders Saturday night. Officer Wilson of the Stone County Sheriff’s office, stated that Matthew was driving alone and misjudged the curve and his speed. He suffered minor injuries as his vehicle scraped through those boulders heading for the churches front door. The front of his car and the right side took a beating and the skid marks were intense.  His seat belt protected him and he received minor abrasions to his neck. There was no alcohol involved in the accident.


Lexus battles Boulders


Coast Guard Panda Plunges in Polar Bear Event

By Penny Bailey and Philip Johnson

   The Second Annual Shell Knob Polar Bear Plunge to benefit the Kornerstone Adult Education Program was a success.    The weather held off for the event on Saturday, Feb. 8th. We had a  total overcast, mid-30’s air with a water temperature of 41 degrees with a light breeze. No ice or high wind was at or on the public landing in Shell Knob.

   We had six brave souls as jumpers in 2010 which was down from the +/- 17 last year in 2009. Our event this year was in conflict with three other Polar Bear Plunges and multiple other regional events. However, the Shell Knob community support was remarkably evident this year. In attendance were multiple uniformed members of the Coast Guard Auxiliary and a recreational vehicle displaying their banner; the Barry County Sheriff Mick Epperly, a Cox ambulance, a contingent from the Kornerstone program, and others. An unofficial Coast Guard Auxiliary privately owned boat provided water support with an E.M.T. on duty. A member of the auxiliary contingent provided a brief overview of hypothermia as well as all members of the Flotilla passing out printed information.

    The jumpers plunge was brief. A highlight of the jump was the entrance of the Coast Guard Auxiliary Panda Bear in full costume. Total attendance was +/- 60 individuals.   The event was sponsored by Terry’s Cafe, The MAIDEN Project, Inc., and The Old Church Gallery with funds going to support the Kornerstone Adult Literacy program.






Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-02-15

  • Shell Knob Lions Meeting at Noon on Monday via @AddToAny #
  • Who Dat–is awesome and so is Brees!!! Go New Orleans! #
  • Add Water to your Diet and live longer! via @AddToAny #
  • OzarkAdvertiser reminds readers to attend the AQUA water meeting on Thursday, February 11, 2010 at 5:30 pm at the Shell Knob School #
  • Snow has stopped but the cold has intensified its effect on keeping warm. #
  • Watch for Slick Roads via @AddToAny #
  • Not much going on–looking for blog information #
  • Tuesday’s Tarts via @AddToAny #
  • More snow forecasted for Shell Knob is damping the Valentine Spirit– #
  • What's up with the price of roses? What is causing the high cost? I think I would like chocolate instead–it makes you feel better! #
  • Tuesday's Tarts and their trash talking is at it again on OzarkAdvertiser. #
  • She was only a whiskey maker but he loved her still? #
  • Dark cloudy day today–but the lake looks great–and I am going shopping! A woman's delight! #
  • New callers are interested in joining me in celebrating the day before Valentine's Day! Looking forward to seeing Steve Mitchell at Grd opn #
  • My red shoes are too outdated–I gotta get some new ones to wear to celebrate St. Valentine's Day! #
  • I had my dog Buddy trimmed yesterday at Paw Prints in Shell Knob–I so missed seeing Linda at Wag N' Tails but the new place is good! #
  • Buddy is still struting around–he gets such an attitude when he knows he looks good. His girlfriends ck'd him out this morning #

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