Promoting the citizens of the Ozarks and their lifestyle.
Thursday January 18th 2018

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Monday’s Humor

  1. My goal for 2017 was to lose just 10 pounds  only 15 to go …
  2. Ate salad for dinner Mostly croutons & tomatoes … Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce …
    And cheese… FINE, it was a pizza… I ate a pizza
    How to prepare Tofu:
    1. Throw it in the trash.
    2. Grill some Meat.
  3. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web…
  4. I don’t mean to brag but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes …
  5. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it…
  6. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it… when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel…
  7. Senility has been a smooth transition for me…
  8. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?
    …Me neither.
  9. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented  I forgot where I was going with this …
  10. I love being over 70  I learn something new every day  and forget 5 others…
  11. A thief broke into my house last night
    He started searching for money  so I woke up and searched with him…
  12. My dentist told me I need a Crown  I said, “You bet, pour mine over rocks”
  13. I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day…

“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”

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